This delightful bookmark was sent to me by a reader. I am so very touched by the gesture and the very kind words. 

Many thanks   

Jonathan hearing for the first time in a Youtube clip I posted yesterday evening got some nice comments on social media

Not only were there appreciative comments there were also links to other similar videos.  Like this one: –

And I shown videos of babies seeing for the first time, this one is heart melting.  There’s more on this story here 

But then came this one, hands up, I had a little weep.  If you are on public transport, don’t watch it.

Breathtaking!

Last week, on 30 July,  The Tablet published this article about a Portsmouth parish being taken back in time by an order of monks who had been invited by the Bishop to take charge.  In the article two parishioners, mentioned by name, give their opinion that this has not been a good move and that people have been driven away.

I am guessing The Tablet got this story from the local Portsmouth newspaper that ran this story on 20 July, in this article unnamed parishioners voice their discontent.

The story was repeated on a couple of blogs run by parish priests from other dioceses. One of the priests is able to lay to rest any concerns about the Portsmouth parish as he is reliably informed otherwise.

Why both these periodicals would want to publish such incorrect information is baffling, but I have first hand experience of the press being ‘economical with the truth’.  The Tablet is often accused of doing so.

On 22 July the Tablet published an article about the latest change of priest at Blackfen. Reporter Christopher Lamb does little more than relay information directly from the statement the parish priest read at Mass when he announced his resignation.  His article can be read here.  Oddly one or two people on Twitter denounced Mr Lamb’s article as incorrect.  Having seen the parish priest’s statement, I cannot find anything incorrect, see for yourself: –

I have an announcement that I need to make to you. I would have made this announcement sooner but certain things had to be put in place before I could tell you. I regret to inform you that I will not be your parish priest for much longer—I am leaving Blackfen this Summer. I must add at the outset that this is my decision, and not that of the diocese. I have not been asked to move!

I would like to begin by thanking you all for your kindnesses to me over the last year. I think we could all agree that the transfer from my predecessor to me was not as smooth as any on us could have wanted. This is not the place to go into the reasons for that. All I will say, at the moment, is that the personal cost to my physical and mental health was high. The kindness of many of you during this period towards me was greatly appreciated, and I am sad I was not able to be more open and honest with you at the time.

With all that being said, I eventually made the decision that I needed an outlet from parish life. Since January I have been teaching Maths part-time at St John’s Comprehensive School in Gravesend. In due course I informed the Bishop that I wished to make that situation full-time and permanent, and tendered my resignation as parish priest of Our Lady of the Rosary, to take effect at such time as a suitable successor was found. That time has now come.

So today I can announce that, with effect from 1 September Fr Oliver Antao will be Parish Priest of Blackfen. Fr Oliver is an experienced parish priest who brings many gifts and talents to the parish. I know that he will continue to take the parish in the direction that I initiated, and build on what we have achieved in the last few months together.

I will be leaving you on Sunday, 16 August, and supply priests will look after things before Fr Oliver takes up the reins.  This is a wonderful parish that has a bright future—but I am not the right person to make that journey with you.

Please pray for me as I leave parish ministry and begin the next stage of my life—teaching maths to our teenagers. Also remember me as I begin to learn how to live in the ‘real’ world, dealing with such things as paying rent, bills and so on.

Thank you.

In the article putting our minds at rest about the Portsmouth parish, we are told attendance there had dropped by fifty per cent in twenty years.  We can all agree the Bishop of Portsmouth would have nothing to lose by trying something else there. Numbers at Blackfen has also suffered.  The figure for Mass attendance recorded for 2008 is 554, in 2013 that figure falls to 459, a drop of 95, which is 17%, in just five years. These figures are submitted by the parish and published in the diocesan directory.  Like our priest blogger I too have a reliable source, not in Portsmouth but at Blackfen where the 10.30 Sunday Mass, which had an attendance of approximately 40 now has an attendance of approximately 150.  It looks like the missing 95 may have returned.

As an aside, something else odd that happened at this time was the amount of curiosity raised about the outgoing parish priest.  No less than three blogs, written by middle aged (but still all younger than I) married men speculating on his private life were published.  Why they would would be so interested is best left to our curiosity.  One of our priest bloggers noted these, and other comments, and said in a post it had  “captured people’s prurience and some pretty unpleasant speculation.” Quite.

The Bishop of Portsmouth did not ask an order of monks to take of a parish to destroy it, at Blackfen the outgoing parish priest has worked hard to serve his community in a way they wanted, and they have responded generously.  If the secular press want to make something negative of that, we can’t stop them.  We, however, who know the truth, should be celebrating it and sharing it like the good Father did about the Portsmouth parish.

Today was a very special day for my parish we had a whole parish celebration. Our morning Masses were cancelled and a midday Mass in the grounds of the local primary school was planned.  The scouts and guides volunteered to do undertake all sorts of jobs, the guide groups were most keen as they are celebrating 80 years in our parish.  A special Children’s Liturgy was planned, the choirs combined as they do for big events, the primary school rehearsed a gathering hymn and post Communion hymn… there was so much going on.

I arrived at church just after 10am this morning, I was deputed, along with the magnificent Geraldine to make sure everything arrived from church to the school. Geraldine had been very busy making little pouches to transport the chalices safely and was counting out hosts when I arrived.  We were expecting approx 600 to Mass, this meant the safe transportation of lots of silverware.

The parish minibus had passengers on board by 10.30, we were also using the school minibus to ferry people to and fro and the orders of service were, with the newsletters, all packed and ready to go.

But then came the news; the ground was too slippy after all the rain.  It was a health and safety hazard.  The plug would have to be pulled on being outside.  A Mass for 12.30 in the church was now being worked towards.  Disappointedly I started putting out chairs in the hall to accommodate the extra people.  We had chosen to have Holy Communion under one kind at the school, a la Vatican.  In Church we could now also have the Precious Blood, so six extraordinary ministers were found and told where their position was in a matter of seconds.

The word of the change of venue soon spread, a few people rang the parish office to check, but it was amazing how well the news was communicated in just two hours.  With about 10 minutes to go the hall was about a quarter full, we decided we might take away one ciborium when it came to the offertory, we clergy went to the back of the church to process in as the gathering hymns (one by the school and one for all) were sung.

At 12.30 sharp the congregation stood and we processed in with everyone singing  Here I Am Lord, and my word the singing was spectacular, truly truly spectacular. Getting to the sanctuary and looking into the hall we found it was by now, completely full with people standing.  The whole church was alive with singing, happy, united people.

In the homily the congregation were encouraged to take this day and remember it is their church, their community and to offer themselves to the stewardship such a parish requires.  They were reminded that as prophets in the Old Testament foretold the coming of the messiah, we are the prophets of today, foretelling of the Parousia, it’s our job by dint of Baptism.

After Communion a presentation was made to Bob who has run the 400 Club for 29 years, helping to raise tens of thousands of pounds for the parish.  I have to confess I cannot remember what the recessional hymn was, but I know I was lifted out of church by the magnificent singing.

The plan at the school was to have a parish picnic after Mass.  Well the change of venue did not stop that from happening.  However, the more intimate venue meant that food was put on one long table for all to share and there was so much of it!  I could have eaten my bodyweight in rice dishes alone.

In the meantime, in the back garden of the glorious archdiocese of Southwark, the diocese of Arundel and Brighton were celebrating 50 years of being a diocese.  Newly installed bishop and friend of our parish, Richard Moth was the chief celebrant at Mass.  Social media was alive with Catholics enjoying their day at the Amex Stadium, each tweet and blog post was a joy to behold.

Today has been a  good day to be a Catholic down south.

Dr Maggie Aderin-Pocock is a research Fellow at UCL’s department of Science and Technology studies, an astro-physicist by trade she is one of, if not the most, successful female scientists in the country.

I wonder what would have happened if Dr Aderin Pocock had opined that when working with men, she falls in love with them,  they fall in love with her and if she criticises them they fly into a mad emotional rage.

I wonder what would have happened if she said other women cry if she criticised them.

I wonder what would have happened if Sir Tim Hunt had opined that other men got emotional and flew into a rage if he criticised them.

I just wonder.

I am cribbing a homily I heard on Sunday.

The Body of Christ has: –

• Aspergers
• athlete’s foot
• beautiful teeth
• eloquence
• a short temper
• pride
• exquisite manners
• bad manners
• spots
• a kind heart
• courage
• annoying habits
• enthusiasm
• Daltonism
• a poor reading age
• a beautiful singing voice
• leprosy
• compassion
• diabetes
• good taste
• myopia
• self control
• HIV
• wisdom
• a generous nature
• a sense of humour
• bingo wings

The Body of Christ is: –

• erudite
• irritable
• talented
• annoying
• encouraging
• negative
• fit
• black
• bald
• illiterate
• statuesque
• a bit whiffy
• smiley
• white
• taciturn
• wealthy
• angry
• deaf
• blind
• lardy
• tolerant
• hungry
• in debt
• giggly
• gauch
• welcoming

The Body of Christ is us

The Body of Christ is God’s creation

and it’s beautiful
(with thanks to Fr Damian)

My previous blog post was about my need to  pray before writing a homily.   I also pray before writing, and then separately before posting a blog.  This weekend I have seen some rather shocking blogging going on with regard to one specific matter.  Happily, to date, only one blogger has raised the matter but I fear there may be more.

I’d  noted in recent weeks a trend of referring to the Holy Spirit as ‘she’.  The reasoning behind this is the Hebrew noun ר֫וּחַ or ‘ruach’ is a feminine noun.  I have pointed out to those with whom I debate the matter that when a noun has a gender it’s the noun, and not the subject.  I always use the example from good old O’level school French of ‘la chemise’ and ‘le chemisier’ to make my point.  ‘La chemise’ is the shirt, a feminine noun for an item of clothing associated with men where ‘le chemisier’ is a blouse, an item recognised as being associated with women unless it’s prefixed by ‘big girls’.

This has always been respectfully received and debated with Christian love.  I entered into the same conversation on Friday with two priests.  What followed from others was unedifying, I was shocked to the core.

Attempts to justify poor, unchristian behaviour have resulted in no less than three blog posts (to date) condemning one of the chaps with whom I debated the matter.   So it made me think; has prayer been employed before these posts? Do I pray always before I post a blog?

I believe I do, but that’s believe, I am not one hundred per cent certain I always have in the past.  In the past I have discussed this with my spiritual director, he has underlined to me the vital importance of making sure christocentricity is not missing from anything, anything at all, that I share via this medium.

I debated this with him, I asked how writing about my garden, or my shed, would be Christocentric, he told me as long as there is not a lack of love, I am ok.  He reinforced this to me shortly after when I posted a blog, he text me and said “did you pray before writing that?”

I replied I definitely had, he responded

“well the devil’s got to your spellchecker”

There was a howlinging inappropriate misspelling in the post, thank goodness so few of you read this!

Praying before blogging is vital.  Praying before posting is equally so.  In the early days I neglected this on too many occasions and those blogs have been removed from An Idiot On Board.  Today being Trinity Sunday I have implored the whole Trinity to help me.  They sent the Holy Spirit, He helped me.

(I hope SillyPhyllis is motivated to mention this on her HCOOH feed)

Earlier this week I read someone laud their parish priest for his edifying homilies.  She had discovered his secret was to write them in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament.  This really made me think of my own early shocking attempts at homiletics.

My old routine was to look for a story of everyday life with which to open.  I would often throw in references to popular TV shows, which was interesting for me, as I would notice people suddenly look up, and I’d be happy I might have their attention.

I began to realise this was not a good way to proceed when one homily story was repeated back to me.  I spoke of a time I was delivering to a customer in my previous job of wholesale flower flogger.  I delivered to a Lady (yes, capital) called Barbara.  She had a gated house, the gates were open, I drove onto the drive, got the flowers out of the car, walked round the back of the house where I had delivered before and saw her in her conservatory in sports clothes following an aerobic exercise video.  She was shocked and embarrassed that I had seen her like this.  I was very apologetic and mortified I had embarrassed this delightful lady in this way.  She forgave me but said “you won’t tell anyone will you?” I assured her I would not.  But next time I saw her, she told everyone the story, laughing and showing them some of the moves she was executing at the time.

This story was repeated back to me in positive terms.  However, I had to admit to myself that while I remembered using the story, I did not remember the message of the homily.

Not long after this I was having trouble putting together my next homily.  The Gospel reading was the start of John 10 “I am the gate to the sheepfold”.  I am blessed that I get to preach once a month.  This means I get a whole month to prepare my homily and I am sure you all believe me when I tell you I spend that whole month doing just that. (my foot)  With only a couple of days to go I was having trouble getting a ‘hook’ (technical term) on the readings that I could translate without making myself sound like Elmer J Fudd.

I discussed this at dinner one evening, saying I was getting slightly desperate as to what I would say on Sunday morning.  Various humorous suggestions were made, but then my older daughter said something back to me that has become a catchphrase in the house when anything was troubling either of my girls. “Have you prayed about it daddy?” she said.  This was echoing the “have you prayed about it darling?” they have  grown up with, and the first time in ten years I had been called ‘daddy’.  But here’s the rub, praying about it was one thing I had not done.

And when I did, Jesus spoke to me in my heart at one thousand decibels “I am the gate to the sheepfold Tony, not the places you’ve been looking to try and entertain a crowd”.  My homily was me simply relaying this story, I needed no more than The Lord had provided.

When I was in diaconal formation it was stressed to us that we should not try to impart The Lord’s message without asking him what he wanted us to say.  I’d failed this time and I wondered how many other times I had failed.  I could not be certain I had always prayed before preparing.

I can say, hand on heart, I have never been caught like that again, nor have I struggled to find the proverbial hook.  However, I think I might take a leaf from the book of the parish priest mentioned above, perhaps preparing in front of the Blessed Sacrament might help me take my homilies up a notch.

On 29 March I posted a blog on the letter signed by 461 priests asking those attending the next synod to uphold sound teaching on marriage and human sexuality.  In the post I agreed with the letter but voiced my concern at how the publicising of the letter had been handled.  Cardinal Nichols seems to agree with me on that too, although his words, like mine, have been taken to mean we disagree with the content of the letter.

The usual social media behaviour from the usual social media noises occurred. There were letters to The Tablet decrying the signatories for their lack of faith in the Holy Spirit (a concern I heard vocalised more than once) there were those supporting the letter decrying the Tablet letter writers for doing so, both sides got personal and my concern about the lack of grace mentioned at the end of my blog post grew.

Mgr Keith Barltrop wrote a graceful piece in the Catholic Herald here saying why he had chosen not to sign the letter, I saw not one comment from either side on his article, but then, there was nothing to say

On Thursday I had a call asking if I had seen who had signed, ‘the people’s letter’. “Eh?” said I, and was led here

This letter is outstanding.  There is nothing anyone who stands with their fellow Catholics on a Sunday and says The Creed can argue with.  One might not like the fact the letter exists, one might want to write ones own letter saying one does not support the 461 priests, one might, like me, look down the list of signatories with a wry grin at some of the names, or lack of diocese mentioned, or wondered if such a young signatory should be signing the letter or (yes, like me) admiration that some have used their real life legal names rather than the name of their anonymous Twitter feeds, but one cannot deny this letter is full of truth and grace, as is Christ’s bride, The Church.  The letter has been handled with tact and grace and the authors deserve our thanks.

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